Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
