he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
