i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
