Welp...herpes.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I understand Curling. That high.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
