thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She needs sedatives and a leash
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
