I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
