her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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