Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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