do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
