your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
