Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
