The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
