i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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