I wanna passion pit in your ass
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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