Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
