I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
