Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
