Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
