can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
