I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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