I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize