playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize