Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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