Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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