He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
