I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
