Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize