I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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