is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize