: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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