So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
