you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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