she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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