You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
