I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
