i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
operation harelip BJ is a go
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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