My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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