i don't plan on having that self control this summer
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
