Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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