I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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