its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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