I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
