It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
