so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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