I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
