just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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