he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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