new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
