How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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