It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
