is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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