Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
