Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
