So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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