I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
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