please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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