everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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