Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
