All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
