this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
