I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
