Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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