found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
