He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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